Taking a Compliment

Boost Your Confidence By Taking a Compliment

Why is it so hard for people to take a compliment? When someone tells you that you look nice or they admire your sweater, how do you react? Do you say, "Oh, thank you, I appreciate that." If not, why not? When people compliment you, do you suddenly go shy and feel the necessity of downgrading the compliment by replying, "Oh, it's just an old sweater I found in the back of the closet" or "I got it on sale?" In a way, you are telling the person who gave you the compliment that they have made you uncomfortable, that perhaps you are not worthy of the praise or comment. If you can learn to take a compliment graciously, people will compliment you even more, and everyone, including you, can use a little boost to their self-esteem. Most folks like to give compliments, and it’s nice to know others feel you have good taste or good judgment, but they won't give those compliments as often to someone who downplays their flattering remark with a negative response.

Does this sound familiar?

Compliment: "I like your shoes."

Answer: "Oh, yeah, well, I bought them on sale and the seam on the side is already coming loose."

Compliment: "Well, I really like the style."

Answer: "I wish I hadn't bought them. They've been sitting in the closet for a month."

Compliment: "Well, I really like them, anyway."

Answer: "I'll probably never wear them again."

The person giving the compliment has made three positive remarks about the shoes, and the person wearing the shoes has responded with three negative remarks. It comes very close to being an argument about who is right about the shoes. Now how about this instead:

Compliment: "I like your shoes."

Answer: "Oh, thank you, I really appreciate that."

It's really not hard to say, if you mean it. Thank you, I appreciate that. Try it on for size a few times and see how it feels. You don't have to say anything after that - no negative remarks about the quality or the price of the item. Just, "Thank you, I appreciate that." The conversation will move along again on its own accord, don't worry. And you will walk away feeling pretty good about yourself.

You might want to practice those simple little words out loud in front of the mirror a few times to get used to it, but it works like a charm. And don't feel silly standing in front of your bathroom mirror, smiling and thanking yourself! It works, and it's a great tool to practice the new, grateful you. Your friend has said something nice about you and you have accepted it graciously. Thank you, I appreciate that.